Holy Crap!!!!

Could my luck really be changing and going in the right direction? So, I had my blood work this morning and she only poked me twice this time. They have found a vein in my hand that works well, hurts more but it works. Anyways, the girls know me by now and all said they had a good feeling so they promised me one hour results. So I just called the lab and found out ::drum roll: I ovulated this month!!! I can't believe that it finally happened. This is the first real chance of getting pregnant since we started trying in May 07. Just knowing that I can do this and have a chance. Dan was funny when I told him his response was "Yay, that's great baby, lets hope my guys found the way." I don't have to take the provera now next month. Since I ovulated I will start my period on my own too. Well I am one happy girl right now, this is the best feeling and yes I bawled my eyes out at my desk when I heard the news. I can't wait for my ultrasound next week.

A good feeling

I don't know I am probably jumping the gun here but I have a really positive feeling about this being the cycle for us. I am not sure what makes me think this but I really feel like this is it for us. I am really excited to go and get blood work tomorrow. Usually, I dread this because they have yet to hit my vein on the first or even second try. I am so excited to make the phone call to the lab tomorrow afternoon to hear if I ovulated this month or not. Now, note:: If I did not ovulate I am going to be one Debbie Downer. I just have not felt so sure about anything since I met Dan. Stay tuned for tomorrows post reveling my blood results. If you read this today please say a little prayer and send good thoughts our way.

Hopeful

Well, we are halfway through this months cycle. I have been feeling great. Less emotional than the past couple months which is surprising being my Clomid was increased. I don't know if the routine is just setting in and I have had two unsuccessful months so far so I am not as anxious as to my expectations. I have a really good feeling about the outcome of this cycle. This Thursday I have my blood work to see if I ovulated and then on September 5th I have my ultrasound. Of course we are hoping for good news. Also, some other stresses in our life right now is making it easier to not focus 100% on our trying to conceive issues. We are still trying to figure out where we want to settle, what route of aviation Dan will pursue and what career path I will choose. We have also been trying to deal with some difficult family members.

On another note my already busy life is about to pick up the pace. As of tomorrow I will start working nights at Blair and my classes start on Tuesday. So I will go to class, go work at Williams then go and work at Blair. Dan and I decided that since he has a very busy schedule and I don't get to spend time with him during the week that maybe I should start working part time in the evenings, in effort to pay off credit cards and school loans at a quicker speed. This is a temporary inconvience for a better lifestyle (in the words of my mom) I plan on staying here for a short period of time just to give us a little more wiggle room. By doing this I am able to double my monthly income.

A Big Annoyance

A situation that I encountered recently with a co-worker of mine has left me really annoyed. She is aware of our fertility problems and treatment plan and actually is someone that I would consider a friend. Since I am ducking out for Drs. appts every month I had to mention something to someone in the office. Anyways, she is always asking me if I am pregnant yet. Which a more appropriate question could be; how is everything going, when is your next ob appt. What I am saying is that there are more tactful ways to go about the questions. To me, the are you knocked up question is adding salt to the womb in a sense. Trust me, when I am pregnant everyone will know!!! Last Monday, when I came into my office the co-workers were asking me about the wedding I was in the weekend, one of my very best friend Carrie's. (it really was an amazing, beautiful, perfect day. The love between Brad and Carrie is unreal! I am so happy for you two) My co-worker K asked if I got drunk. I responded that no, I did not get drunk. So of course that prompted her question, "Why, are you pregnant?" (I wanted to say that I am not an alcoholic and don't need to drink to have fun, BTW--the next AA meeting is on such date, maybe you should look into it. I had to bite my tongue) I did however say, "No, I am not and continually asking a girl with fertility problems if she is pregnant is rude and bothersome." She has not talked to me since. Which is fine but really I had to say something. That was my breaking point. This morning I asked her about it and she said she was mad at me because I yelled at her. (She is somewhat of a spoiled brat and very condescending to her loved ones.) I just needed to vent.

Is this going to be it?

Tonight will be my last day on the Provera for this cycle. I think I may have mentioned in my last post that he switched me from taking 1 a day for 5 days and this time taking 2 a day for 5 days. This all in hopes to reduce my period from 14 days to a "normal" week. Lets hope it works. Well other than the double dosage intensifying the side effects (cramps, bloating, emotional train wreck) things have been good. I have high hopes for this cycle to at least ovulate. Lets hope this is going to be our lucky number. 3rd cylce could be a charm?

Keepin on keepin on...

Well, we had my 31 day ultrasound and appointment yesterday and are going to take it month by month I guess. In previous posts I said that we were going to take a break until we knew what was going on with Dan and his job but that isn't the case for this next cycle. While our minds were made up that I was going to go in, do my thing and have my questions answered about stopping and re-starting the meds later on but we got excited by the ultrasound (I will get to that) and have a good feeling about this next month. I blame Dan, (he is hard to say no too) he was not going to go with me yesterday due to working but the weather was crap so he had time free up. As we were in the ultrasound room the tech told us (and the ob later confirmed) that I had a follie on my right ovary and that it looked like I wanted and tried to ovulate this month. Dan's (well both of us) had are hope recharged and we don't want to "lose our chance". If you could have seen the excitement on his face and watch him light up, it was adorable. I truly have wonderful husband and going through this together and sharing these emotions with each other buts my worries at ease. I love you Dan, and thank you for being so supportive and wonderful. So on Sunday he asked me to take a HPT and if it came back (which it will) that we are not pregnant then I am to start the Provera again on Sunday. I talked him out of the blood work that will confirm that I am not pregnant being that every time I have gone in for blood work I am poked anywhere from 3-6 times before they hit the vein, and it makes me queezy. So starting Sunday the process will start again.

As for the questions that I had answered. If we decide that we want to take a break we can, but I still have to take the provera so I can have a period and we can pick up where we left off. So that's good. I asked how many times we have to do the Provera/Clomid combo before we decide that it isn't going to work and we try something else. He said once we reach 250mg of Clomid (3 more cycles including this one) then we would try something else for one cycle then it would be off to Pittsburgh for us. Lets hope that we don't have to go that far.

Needless to say that I am happy with what we learned yesterday and as previously stated my hope has been revamped (for now)

This cycle was a bust

I had my blood work done on Monday to see if I ovulated this month. Guess what, I didn't. My progesterone level went from a .2 to a .38 which yes, is a jump but not a substantial jump at all. So, I go to the OB on Tuesday for my ultrasound and see what he has to say. I have a zillion questions to ask. I need to know what the downfall is to taking a few months off. I am starting to think if I keep taking it then by November I will be ovulating and we will be good to go. I need to see if we can pick up on the next dose in November. I need to see how long I need to not ovulate before I am referred to Pittsburgh. I need to know why I am having 14 day periods on this medication and if that is a factor to why I am not ovulating. The OB that I see this time makes me feel like I am just a number and he is rushing me along which makes me a little nervous, like he won't take his time and go through my questions with me. This whole process sucks. Why is it that people who don't want babies or aren't expecting babies have no problem getting pregnant but people that want this more than anything have to jump hurdles to get there. It doesn't seem fair to me. I try to convince myself that God has a greater plan for us but I am losing hope.